How can your life change if there is no right or wrong?  A frightening thought? How would you be able to make most decisions? Those challenges that demand you make a choice?

What would you choose as your fundamental guideline for making decisions? If there is no right or wrong, would you be able to navigate your daily life? How would you decide what to do? If there were nothing to compare, how would you know what is good, better, or best? Bad, worse, or horrific?

If distinctions were irrelevant, everything would seem fine as it was, with no pull or push to evolve, move forward or strive for change and improvement. But not to worry because that is not the case. 

However, here’s what is.

It’s difficult to accept that the world you live in is built on a dynamic of opposition or opposing forces. It’s a world where one point of view is always being confronted by its opposite; where the present is often a battleground betweenan image of carousel horses to represent the ongoing presence of the need to make decisions and choices relying on the past or striving for a better future; relying on others for guidance or trusting yourself; assuming you are just a material being or assuming that you are just a spiritual being.

Each point of view to want your attention, and ultimately, your loyalty to its perspective.  Full days can revolve around a continually moving merry-go-round of contradictory points of view, conflicting emotions, and disparate philosophies, all asking for YOU to provide the distinctions between them and decide what is right and what is wrong, and what is best and what is worse.

The Desired Solution To The War Between Right Vs. Wrong

The obvious solution to the problem would be to create a better world where wrong exists no more.  And that would be totally reasonable except for the fact that it is not possible.  What would life be like if there were no comparisons, no opposites to pit against each other to create a determination of which is better or best?

Imagine for a moment what it might be like if there were no desire pulling you toward change, movement, improvement, or personal evolution? There would be no drive to determine what might be better because you would have no awareness of such a thing being possible.

What could happen if you were to zero in on the fact that life is actually all about these
relationships between opposing forces and contradictory ideas. 

Fundamentally, life experience is based on how you relate to what comes your way – be it an event on the outside, or an emotion or thought on the inside.  And the way you relate is usually based on some notion of that event, thought, or feeling being good, bad, or irrelevant.

When you begin to realize the core relationship in life is between you and what you meet along the way,a sign showing 3 sets of opposite directions: secure/unsafe, valued/useless/ included, outcast - demonstrating the requirement to make choices between opposing directions
the necessity of working with an awareness of opposites becomes a bit clearer.
Life begins to appear in a different light.

‘Only One Way’ Is The Breeding Ground For Happiness Or Unhappiness

This ongoing need to determine right from wrong is the breeding ground for unconscious polarization.  And your choice can make you happy or unhappy. Believing you must claim one point of view as right and another as wrong is at the root of this divisive perspective, and a great deal of anxiety, stress, and fear.  And it is this decisive action that creates contraction, stress, and disease in your body, mind, and emotions, as well as chipping away at any faith or trust you might have in some larger force being at play.

In simpler terms, unconscious polarization happens when you decide you’re for one point of view or action as the right one, and against what is almost always its opposite. At this point in time, it’s quite important for you as a leader (and yes, you are a leader because everyone has someone following them). It’s become essential to be aware of your own polarization and how it influences the way you navigate your daily world, both inside and outside.

Are You Aware Of Your Own Unconscious Polarization?

Can you think of a few times when you’ve found yourself adamantly standing in a position against what you don’t like? When your viewpoint is right and the opposing viewpoint is wrong? This kind of polarization is at the root of endless unwinnable arguments. To name a few, the obvious stalemates around the death penalty, abortion, birth control, gun control, politicala black horse and a white horse rearing up as if in battle with each other ideologies, and distribution of wealth.

When you’re able to reflect on these situations impartially, you realize there are two positions in each scenario that are truly opposites; and, that each is completely unwilling to move from their position. Polarization creates a fixed point of view or the current term is mindset.

Whether it’s global warming, apartheid, abortion, distribution of wealth, politics, or genocide, taking an unmovable position creates polarization. This creates the environment for the unhealthy growth of unpleasant situations. These include stalemates, lack of compromise, no-win scenarios, and a continuation of the warring mentality polarization thrives upon.

Can you identify a place in your own daily life where this polarization has occurred? Parenting? Finances? Romance? Sex? Success? Religion? Spirituality? So what are you to do? This same dynamic unfolds whether it is something very complex like economics, global warming, or politics, or a simple belief that there is indeed a ‘right way’ to do anything.

The Role Of Tension In Determining Right From Wrong

Where there is polarization, there is tension. What if the building blocks of your life journey were composed of this tension between opposites? And what if that tension between right and wrong was the tool you used to create your sense of yourself and your journey? If you perceive this tension as antagonistic, then you must decide that one point of view has to win and one has to lose.  This viewpoint creates a lot of stress and turmoil you have to carry with you through that day’s 24 hours of time and space.

a musical clef with a band of energy all in vibrant and differing colors representing the value of more than one right and one wrongThe problem is, you can’t get rid of needing to make these determinations.  They’re required to survive, to grow, to evolve,
to create.

BUT …. what if you could perceive this tension as harmonious and complementary and purposeful?

What if this tension and stress were teaching you something you needed to understand in order to be happy?  It’s an important shift in perspective.  if you’re making the effort to ‘let go’, ‘go with the flow’ and ‘be here now’,  this perception of the tension as complementary and harmonious makes receiving that hidden guidance so much easier to find. Imagine it. Wouldn’t your journey throughout each day be dramatically different if you could shift the way you relate to this tension?

Can Your Life Change For The Better When There Is No ONE Right Or Wrong?

Over the next few posts, I’m going to offer two liberating points of view. Each one can help you become more aware of any unconscious polarization your mind might be harboring. And I’ll show you how to release it to a more fluid and flexible mindset that is more capable of competence, clarity, creativity, and what I call ‘love in action’.a woman looking at a photo montage of different people's faces demonstrating different points of view or the reality more than just one right and one wrong

Meanwhile, just notice when you start to get irritated with someone who doesn’t agree with how you see the world.  That’s your first clue that polarization is just around the corner.

No  need to be upset by it.  Just become aware for now, and realize whatever opposing viewpoint you’re against, those who hold it are probably against you as well.  Not a great scenario for a happier and more peaceful world.  But …. there is a way out.  There is another way to make that difference you’ve been working so hard to create.

May you stay aware, healthy, and safe.

Until next time,
Much love,



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